guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
