My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
