yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
