I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Mom said you looked used
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
