I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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