In America we eat man semen.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
