Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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