saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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