she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
