girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
