Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
