i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
