If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
