o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
