It's like God shit irony all over that family
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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