Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't turn off my feet"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
