You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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