how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No subtext here. People are naked.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
