he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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