I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
