dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
