She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
