I skipped work to stalk him.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
