i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
