dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
