But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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