can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
