her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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