Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
