is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
