We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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