so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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