i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
