this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
