Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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