hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
