guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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