You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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