yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
