K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This house was built for laser tag.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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