No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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