so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Randomize
