Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
