no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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