Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
