Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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