Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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