Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
