you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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