i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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