This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
