no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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