Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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