I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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