I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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