It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
