well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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